Tag: parents

PLEASE don’t have children

jjsupremacy:

-If you are not financially independent.

-If you are mentally ill without consistent means of treatment

-If you cannot afford doctor’s bills

-If the thought of having a gay, trans, or nonbinary child makes you upset.

-If the cant accept having to care for a child with a disability or special needs.

-If the thought of having a fat child makes you upset.

-If you have a bad/short temper

-If you’re in an abusive relationship

-If you’re not ready to put someone else’s needs first, EVERY SINGLE DAY, for 18 years.

-If you have an ideal of what this person is going to be like and anything other than that image makes you upset. 

-If you need to have a quiet and tidy home at all times.

-If you need to control all aspects of their life even into adulthood.

-if you believe they owe you unconditional, unquestionable respect regardless of your own behavior. 

-If you don’t believe they have the right to privacy in their own home.

-If you’re unwilling to change your lifestyle to accommodate the demands of parenthood.

-If you do not believe ALL humans of every race, gender, sexuality, religion, and career deserve the same rights and respect. 

Look. Your baby could be fat. Your “son” could actually be your daughter; or both or neither. They could be a lawyer or a porn star. You could have a boy who loves makeup and grows up to be an athiest that brings home an alaskan lumberjack named Boris and the two make a living doing gay camshows . You could have a daughter with blue hair, pierced tits, who is a YouTube rapping sensation called Krispee Kareem and marries a black man and wants 8 kids with him

YOU NEVER KNOW

But what I DO know is that parenthood isnt Build-a-Baby; you get what you fuckin’ get and if you’re not prepared to love and support the shit outta that baby; WHOEVER they grow up to be–

Do. Not. Have. Kids.

naksworth:

kinkyfemmequeer:

tigerator:

before you ever even consider having a child you should be ready to handle a disabled child, you should be ready to handle twins, you should be ready to handle a gay child or a trans child

because if you’re not ready for your child to be anything other than one straight, cis, able bodied and able minded child, you’re going to end up neglecting and abusing somebody for years to come

and even if your child is all that, you might have a feminine boy or a masculine girl on your hands. so be fucking ready for your child to be a human being and not YOUR PRODUCT or PROPERTY or CREATION

fucking sort your shit out, i am so tired of shitty parental sob stories about how “hard” it is to “raise” (read: beat the divergency out of) an autistic child or whatever. do you know what’s harder? being the divergent child of parents who you’ve already let down by virtue of existing in a way they didn’t ask for. putting up with years of neglect and abuse because you’re just not good enough for them, you weren’t what they were planning for or expecting.

Last paragraph is a fucking mic drop

Okay but hold up

It is absolutely 100% possible to completely love and support a disabled child or unexpected multiples AND acknowledge how much harder it is to raise a disabled child than an abled one or multiples than one.

The idea that any person has to be 100% prepared for literally anything involving a child is absurd. Being a parent is automatically HARD as shit, there’s about a billion different things that can happen that are totally unexpected, and adding other difficulties to that only makes an already hard job more difficult.

Parents are also people, and it’s okay to acknowledge being a parent is exhausting and that it is WORK. You can love something and acknowledge that it is work, and that it physically, mentally, and emotionally drains you. Added stress or difficulties, like multiples or a disability, makes that work harder, and the idea that someone can’t acknowledge that is ridiculous.

That being said, there is a HUGE difference between acknowledging something for the sake of a parent’s mental health and child abuse, and the former doesn’t justify the latter. Ever.

I think people need to go into it with a realistic mindset and not an idealistic fantasy, though. Because you’re not perfect so your child sure as hell won’t be either, and even if you’re clear of hereditary diseases/disabilities there’s still all kinds of things that can pop up during development. Parents need to acknowledge this before they have kids instead of going into things with a “well that won’t happen to ME” mindset.

I know a lot of people don’t want to adopt because a lot of foster children have “problems” and it’s a “crapshoot”, but guess what? So is making your own kid. The moment you sign up for parenthood, be prepared to do your best for that kid regardless of what they may be like.

And I’m not denying that parenting is hard and exhausting, but it really irks me when people complain about how it’s so hard being a mom, etc. (at least in situations where they’re dealing with nothing out of the ordinary). That experience is literally what you signed up for. It’s not all hugs and kisses.