thecityhorse:

stovestalker:

noshamejustlove:

zorobro:

shota-purinsu:

zorobro:

linzthenerd:

theguilteaparty:

crippledcuriosity:

itsfondue:

Isn’t it nice how people twist their religious scripture to suit their weds but when it’s used against them it’s suddenly not okay

I talked to a monk about this quote once (we have mutual friends, and he came to a New Year’s Eve party at my shared art studio). He said this isn’t even talking about homosexuality. That the bible never actually says homosexuality is wrong. What that passage means is this:

Women were treated as subservient and it that you shouldn’t treat other men as subservient, like they are beneath you. It is not talking about homosexuality. If it was, it would say it outright since the bible lists other things outright.

I take the word of a monk who have studied the bible extensively more than a self proclaimed Christian.

The above text, I would like to point out is from the point of view of this translation of the original Hebrew. I spoke with my cousin’s rabbi on the matter and his response was different, saying that it was a mistranslation. See, the true translation says that a man shall not lie with another in the bed of a woman, which is to say, the Hebrews had a shit ton of rules about when a man was or was not allowed in a woman’s bed and private quarters (including, if she didn’t want you there, you weren’t allowed there. Hebrew women were also allowed to divorce their husbands and the image of the ‘oppressive Hebrew people’ is an image that was propogated by Christianity which, historically speaking, doesn’t treat the Jewish people too well and liked to paint them as being rather barbaric and backwards and cultish with their traditions, which, another piece of fun info, their traditions were one of the main reasons why the Jewish people were less likely, in medieval times, to die of the plague. Because washing your hands and avoiding the dead and vermin and the like was a lot of help. Of course the Christians persecuted them for not dying but that’s another matter. I’m sidetracked). So the verse is literally saying ‘Don’t fuck in some lady’s bed because that’s just goddamn rude’

Also, whenever a Christian brings the book of Leviticus up, you should feel free to point out that these are rules that were given to make the Hebrew people prepared for when the son of God came to earth. In Christianity, it’s believed the son of God was Jesus. So by following the rules set in Leviticus or pushing them as things we should follow, they’re saying that Jesus was not the son of God, and that Jesus did not, in fact, die for our sins. Jewish people believe, in their faith, that the son of God hasn’t yet been born, so many choose to follow these rules.

Most people of course roll their eyes when I explain the translation of the verse (full breakdown found here) but it’s always fun to point out the nature of the rules in Leviticus and the implications of following them. 

I’m a theology student and I am on the verge of crying because of how accurate this commentary is. Historical context is simultaneously the most interesting and most important part of interpreting any texts. 

Most religious people seem to base their beliefs on things that are severely mistranslated. I wish they would do their research before using the bible for hate.

I studied theology extensively and was going to become a theologist until I switched majors. The above commentary is 100% accurate and what I try to stress in a lot if conversations with Bible Thumpers.

Jesus also affirms the homosexual relationship between the Roman Centurion and his “slave”. The particular Greek word used to refer to this special slave was “pais”. Greek language studies and contexts show that a “pais” was a male love slave. Regular slaves were called “dolos”. The Centurion makes this distinction clearly when he asks Jesus to heal his slave (pais), and then to prove his status he tells Jesus that his slaves (dolos) go when he tells them to. But this slave (pais) was special. He was the Centurion’s lover.

Hearing this, Jesus was so amazed he says he had not found ANYONE ELSE who had such great faith. He then blesses the Centurion and heals his male lover.

Matthew 8:5-13

THIS IS WHAT THE BIBLE REALLY TEACHES ABOUT SAME SEX COUPLES.

In short, the English adaptation is a mistranslated farce.

^^^^this

reblogging for the comments ^^^^^^

EXCUSE ME WHILE I REBLOG THIS FIFTY MILLION TIMES

This gets to go on my main blog because this is the most concise explanation of the mistranslation I have ever read and ALL OF YOU SHOULD READ ALL OF IT.

fluidityandgiggles:

quinintheclouds:

alleenickel:

blue-fluffy-dragon:

zombiebrainsoup:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

the bible but its retold in memes

“if she eat the fruit, she a thot”, the Allmighty said

“all women are queensssss” the serpent hissed into Eve’s ear

HE saw that they had eaten the fruit. and so with divine fury, he cast them out of Paradise as HIS voice thundered across the planes

“This bitch sentient. YEET”

Jesus handed his disciples the cup with wine

“take a sip babes, for this is my blood”

as he cast samael the lightbringer out of heaven, the lord turned to his voice. metatron, this is so sad. play despacito

God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. Then said for all, but Noah and his family, “then perish”

And on the seventh day, God said: “It is Sunday, my dudes.”

  • And He told His followers about the Promised Land:
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  • Moses commanded the red sea in the name of God, “Move, I’m gay.”
  • And the Lord spoke to his disciples, “Take, cronch. This is my body, given for you.” Then, lifting the wine, Jesus cracked open a cold one with the boys.
  • The blind man was made to see by Jesus’ hand, and he looked up in awe. “I’d like to thank not only God but also Jesus.”
  • The Pharaoh of Egypt would not relent, for he was the sand guardian, guardian of the sand, and the Israelites quivered before him.
  • Tied up and helpless, Samson’s wig was snatched.
  • On the third day, Jesus rose again. “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me.”
  • “PSA: here are the new Commandments, thank you for coming to my TED talk.”
  • “Um OP literally created the world and everything in it but go off I guess”
  • Witnessing Jesus walking on water, the disciples were in awe: “Oh, my God — He on x-games mode”
  • Jesus, bound to the cross, spoke thusly:
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David: Bro I had a dream we fucked

Jonathan: Bro it’s just a dream

David: Gay, I wouldn’t fuck you

Jonathan: You wouldn’t?

David: I mean, unless you want to…

tjmystic:

dykejedi:

when i was little and i went to church people would talk about “fearing god.” they would use ‘’fear’ to describe like a way of respecting him while understanding his power and i never knew what that  meant until i met a fucking horse 

This… went in a completely different direction than I thought.

libertarirynn:

fire-shadow-dragon-god:

cherrylickers:

cigarettesandguitarstrings:

kanyewesticle:

mynationaltreasure:

toinfinityandbeyonce:

smilingemoticon:

kanyewesticle:

usb-dongle:

kanyewesticle:

it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning

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oh my god

fucking fandom references

WHAT FANDOM? THE JESUS FANDOM?

THEY PREFER THE TERM CHRISTIANITY

This is the post that killed me

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This is the post that killed him.

IT GOT BETTER

AS A CHRISTIAN I HIGHLY APPROVE 

I’m weak