Tag: OP

You know that part of your brain that constantly offers its input on your thoughts but it’s usually stupid as hell input and you just have to sit there for a moment and process the absurdity of what your brain just managed to produce

I’m going to take the GRE today at 12:30 and my anxiety is going nuts. 

I’m just hoping my brain doesn’t do that thing where it’s too quiet during a test so it feels the need to put a random-ass song on repeat for the next three hours. 

Also to my understanding they’ve added a writing portion and if it’s anything like how it worked on the SAT and ACT then I’m not looking forward to it. At least it’s on a computer so my hand won’t cramp.

My friend/roommate’s in the hospital to get her appendix removed tomorrow and I’m a fricking mess and wish I could actually do something useful for her but like if any of you are religious or something please pray for her

I’m studying for political science and pieces of the stupid hairbrush song are playing in my head in the meantime and I have no clue how moving laundry brought fricking Silly Songs with Larry to mind but apparently it did.

I have stuff I need to do and planning for my future and crap but I literally don’t want to do anything. Like even fun stuff just doesn’t sound appealing. Usually spending time outside helps when I’m in a funk but it was so dry for most of the summer and still is now that the creeks are literally drying up and everything in them is dying. I can literally walk on the creek bed in places Or along the entire thing.

So these isolated pools have been forming as the streams dry up. A pretty big puddle that was there on Saturday afternoon was completely gone by the time I went after my first class this morning. Just a pile of fish in the mud. But then I noticed two of them move, so I found a styrofoam cup and ran to get some water from further down the stream and put them in it. And as I nudged the other fish in the mud around with a stick more of them started twitching. I don’t know how they possibly survived like that for as long as they had to have been without water, but a good handful of them were swimming around just fine by the time I got them to where I transferred them (there’s a main creek that still has water in it that the smaller ones connect to not far from where I got them). Most were too far gone by the time I got to them, but I honestly didn’t expect any of them to make it. Seven or so swam off just fine. 

And like, it’s literally maybe half a mile from the spot I found them and it’s the same waterway, so it isn’t like I introduced a new species or anything, but part of me still felt like that was wrong for some reason. Like I was breaking the rules or being a bad biologist or some crap like that. But had I not done anything they would have died, and it’s not like someone else was going to. So knowing I’d just left them to suffocate to death (which apparently takes a lot longer than I would’ve thought for small fish) would’ve just killed me internally.

Also lately I’ve been feeling guilty about essentially everything for no good reason. Like saying things a bit harsher than intended and feeling like a bitch immediately afterward. And just feeling like I give my friends so much crap and they’re still so kind to me and I feel like I almost don’t deserve that. Which is bullcrap, and I know that, but it doesn’t keep me from feeling that way.

I just have other things I need to be focused on that isn’t feeling bad about everything and I’m so over it. 

The Uglies universe is pretty messed up but I’m not gonna lie I really do think it’d be awesome to have that kind of body modification technology.

Don’t like your face? Just design a new one! Whole body needs a makeover? No prob!

Like I’m sure in practice there’d be legitimate concerns with it but in theory it sounds really nice.